


Sing the Song that Sounds of You

by FangFiction



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst?, M/M, Shit gets real real fast
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-22 04:24:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9583496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangFiction/pseuds/FangFiction
Summary: After a tragic accident, nothing can ever be the same. But maybe, just maybe there's some good in all the sadness. Will Ai finally be able to prove himself to Rin?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Wowow, First Story Time, huh? I hope you like it, person reading this. Umm…   
> This story is dedicated to the lovely Redhead (she knows) who convinced me to actually turn my idea into a story.  
> Anyways, here we go, I guess… I hope you enjoy this worthless trash.

“Urgh!”  
Rin grimaced as another bout of turbulence rattled the cabin of the plane. He turned away from the window and punched his seatmate in the arm.  
“’Let’s take the red-eye, Rin,’ you said. ‘We can sleep the whole way!’ How am I supposed to get any sleep like this, Haru?” Rin poked Haru in the side until he finally grumbled something and opened his eyes. He stared pointedly at Rin and yawned theatrically to show just how little of his whining he felt like putting up with.  
“Is there a problem, Rin? I was too busy sleeping to notice.”  
“Like hell you were, the plane’s shaking hard enough to rattle the overhead.”  
Haru shrugged. “Just because you forgot to pack a pillow in your carry-on to cuddle with doesn’t mean you have to keep me awake.”  
“That’s not the point.”  
“What kind of adult still needs a security pillow to fall asleep, anyway,” Haru smirked, just enough for Rin to see. “Probably the same kind of adult who would complain that they’re gold medal isn’t made of real gold.”  
“Tch.” Rin scowled fiercely, and he would have continued complaining if Haru wasn’t already turning away and curling back up in his seat. He heard him mutter something about calling a stewardess to bring him one, and something that might have been “You big baby” before covering his head with his jacket to tune him out.  
Rin went back to staring out of the window at literally nothing because it was two in the goddamn morning and if he didn’t fall asleep in the next twenty minutes he was going to murder Haru in his sleep.  
Because he was right. Rin couldn’t fall asleep without a pillow, especially not on public transportation, and especially especially not on public transportation that was pogo-sticking through the air like a kangaroo on crack. But a pillow would help.  
He huffed, which quickly turned into a yawn, then reached up and pressed the button that summoned a stewardess from whatever hidey-hole they stayed in in-flight. A little light pinged on to tell her just who was disturbing the peace in the last thirty minutes of the flight. He settled back into his seat to wait.  
And wait.  
And wait.   
‘Shouldn’t someone be here? One of them has to be awake, right? Isn’t that like, a rule?’ He thought, craning his neck to look into the aisle. He bit his lip – never a good idea, he’d bitten right through once middle school and it had bled everywhere and looked awful, and all of the assholes in middle school had joked about his ‘piercing’ and honestly, middle school was full of bastards, but they didn’t matter anymore, he’d beaten two of them just two days ago and –   
“Sir?”  
Rin jumped. His mind had wandered way off-track, and it took him a second to remember what he’d wanted. Man, he needed some sleep. It’d been a day at least, maybe more. Thirty hours, probably. And that was probably –   
“Sir, was there something you needed?”  
Rin flushed, embarrassed that he’d managed to let his mind wander while the stewardess was right there, dammit. “Ah, actually, I was wondering if you could bring me a pillow..?” He grinned toothily, to say yes, I know I’m being an asshole for asking when we’re going to land soon, but seriously, I need a pillow.  
To her credit, the stewardess just flashed her politest everyone-is-an-asshole-on-this-plane-it’s-not-just-you smile and said of course, she’d bring one right away.  
He opened his mouth to thank her, and instead yelped when he felt his seat belt cut into his lap and holy shit he was floating and the stewardess was flying down the aisle, and then he didn’t see anything as all the lights in the cabin flickered and died.   
Now everyone was awake, and screaming, and everything was rattling and flashing as the lights cut in and out. Then the overheads blew open and the air was full of bags, and books, and people – people who’d left their seat belts open in an attempt to be comfortable were bouncing out of their seats and following the stewardess down the aisle.  
And now Rin felt Haru’s hand grip his arm, and saw Haru’s eyes lock with his, wide and panicky, and he was screaming something but Rin couldn’t hear, everything was too loud, and it was happening too fast, and, and  
They were  
Falling  
Out  
Of   
The  
Sky.

He grabbed Haru’s hand and squeezed it tightly, even as he squeezed his eyes shut, to try and pretend this wasn’t happening.  
And his mind fixated on one thought as the plane continued to go down, and down, and down:  
Would he hear it? Would he hear the crash? Would he hear the crash?   
Would he hear the -


	2. Garden Gnome Funeral Pyre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please ignore these chapter titles I am excessively overly-dramatic. Whoops!

CRASH  
Nitori Aiichirou jerked awake, and straight out of the chair he’d unknowingly fallen asleep in.   
“Urgh, what the heck?” He mumbled as he tried to pick himself up. His body was stiff from having fallen asleep at his desk, and it took a lot of half-awake groaning and grumbling to coax it back onto its feet.   
NItori rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he tried to get his bearings. He’d fallen asleep at his desk, with the lights still on, and still wearing the jeans and t-shirt he’d worn all day, and, yeah, it looked like he’d drooled all over his diary – journal – and the entry he’d been working on was ruined, and –   
‘What woke me up?’  
He froze in the middle of his bedroom, staring out of the window into the dark lawn outside. He’d heard a noise, right? A crash? Did someone break a window? Were they in the house? Were they going to kill him?  
Nitori felt the last of his just-awake drowsiness ratchet up into full-blown panic, his palms starting to sweat and his shoulders tensing up, until all at once he relaxed completely and let out a shaky laugh.  
He was willing to bet his life that the person hammering on his door and screaming “AIIII-CHAAANNN!” at the top of his lungs in the middle of the night was (probably) not a psychopathic murderer; although the jury was still out on whether Nagisa qualified as a psychopath or not.  
Nitori quickly made his way downstairs to let Nagisa in before his neighbors called the cops for making so much noise. He reached the door and flung it open just as Nagisa started to hammer on the door again, earning himself a thump on the chest for his trouble.   
“Ai-chan!” Nagisa chirped happily when Nitori opened the door, then threw his entire body into Nitori’s arms, making them both stumble into the entry way and onto the floor.   
“Oof! Nagisa-kun, what the heck are you doing?” Nitori huffed from underneath the broadly grinning blonde. He shoved him to the side, stoop up, again, a rather painful process, and shot a questioning glance at Rei, who had followed Nagisa into the house and was shaking his head in exasperation.   
“I’m dreadfully sorry for the intrusion, Nitori-kun,” Rei apologized as Nitori shook his head and shrugged to show that it was fine, really. “We were on our way home from a party and Nagisa-kun insisted that we come to your house, because, and I quote ‘Going home is stupid and boring and for losers and babies.’”   
Nitori laughed. It sounded like something Nagisa would say, although he wasn’t sure how that argument had managed to convince Rei to let him come. “So, uh, what’s wrong with him, exactly? And… what was the crashing noise I heard?” It seemed like something had to be wrong. Nagisa was currently rolling around on the floor trying to get his shoes off, and singing something that could have been English, but was probably just gibberish.  
“Well, since it was our first party as ‘free men’ Nagisa-kun decided to have a few drinks.”  
“A few? He’s totally plastered, isn’t he?”  
Rei re-settled his glasses on the bridge of his nose. “Yes, well, since when has Nagisa-kun ever exercised caution and moderation in anything?”  
Nitori shook his head a little at the spectacle of a drunken Nagisa before bending over to help Nagisa with his shoes and shepherding him into the living room and onto the couch, with Rei following closely behind.   
He continued as Nitori tried to get Nagisa to settle onto the couch.  
“As for the crashing, Nagisa-kun thought it would be ‘cute’ to throw rocks at your window until you opened it. And then, in a fit of drunken stupidity, he picked up a lawn gnome and threw it straight into the wall.”  
“I don’t even know what to say about that.”  
Nagisa grabbed his hands. “It’s okay, Ai-chan. I’ll buy you new garden gnome. A better garden gnome. It’ll be magic.”  
“Yeah, yeah, sure, Nagisa-kun.”  
When Nitori tried to pull his hands away, Nagisa wrapped his arms around his shoulders and dragged him face-first onto the couch. “Ai-chan,” he draped himself across Nitori. “You haven’ done anything since we graduated have you? Not a party, or, um, uh…” He got stuck trying to think of something else – apparently the only thing worth doing after graduation was partying. “Anyways. Since Rei-chan and I are your best friends, we brought the party – hic! – We brought, uh, we brought it to you.” Nagisa nodded emphatically after this grand and eloquent speech, and looked expectantly at Nitori, apparently waiting for showers of gratitude for his thoughtfulness.  
Rei was rolling his eyes again. “It’s amazing he still tolerates us after all of the nonsense you force him to go along with, let alone that he willingly calls us his friends.”  
Nagisa snorted. “Of course we’re his friends, Rei-chan. What you call nonsense is what normal non-cyborg human beings call fun. And we have all the fun. All of it.”  
Nitori had to laugh, at Nagisa, who was still clinging to his torso, and at Rei, who must have had his fill of drunken Nagisa by now.  
They were both right, though. Most of Nagisa’s ideas for a fun time were absolutely insane, like the time he’d convinced them to hide in the aquarium until after closing and they’d almost gotten arrested, but they did, to his credit, usually end up being fun. He felt lucky that the “Oddball Duo,” as the rest of the Samezuka swimming team had named them after a particularly interesting joint team practice, had been okay with becoming a trio. In all honestly, although Nagisa found a lot of joy in teasing Nitori and embarrassing him in public, and although Rei was a little weird and inscrutable at times, he felt a lot closer with them than with anyone at school, except maybe Momo. Either way, he’d spent a lot of time with them over the last school year, and he supposed it wasn’t fair that he hadn’t even bothered to call them since school had let out. But it wasn’t really his fault! He was moving into an apartment at the end of the week, so he had to pack all of his stuff up, and he had to make sure he was prepared for college, and, most importantly, tomorrow, well, today, Rin was coming back from a FINA competition in Sydney, and Nitori had planned all sorts of romantic clichés to make up for the three months he hadn’t seen his boyfriend.   
In fact…   
“Hey, Rei-kun, what time is it? I think Rin-san’s plane is supposed to land soon.”  
Rei went to pull out his phone to check, only to discover that he was, in fact, missing his phone. Nitori could practically see his exasperation meter tick a few notches closer to “total mental breakdown.”   
“Never mind, I’ll check in the kitchen,” He paused as he untangled himself from Nagisa’s limbs. “Do you guys want anything?”  
Rei started to say he’d appreciate some water before being interrupted by Nagisa’s jubilant cries of “Juice! Juice! Juice!” as he clambered over to Rei’s section of the couch and straight onto his lap.   
Nitori snorted. “Try not to kill him while I go get it, okay Rei-kun?”  
“No promises.” But he was smiling, so Nagisa’s life was probably safe for now.   
Nitori made his way into the kitchen, taking a second to look around him at the blue and white walls, the shiny steel refrigerator, and the timeworn wooden cabinets. It had been happening all week, the need to study the house he’d be leaving in a few days. The bittersweet nostalgia had been striking at odd moments since he’d come home from the dorms. Now he shrugged it off and went to get his friends their drinks.   
Before he headed back, he checked the time. Two forty-five.   
When he made his way back into the living room, Nagisa had his head in Rei’s lap and was taking up all of the sitting space on the couch. He’d either fallen asleep or passed out. Rei didn’t seem to care which it was, as long as Nagisa wasn’t spazzing out anymore.   
He handed Rei his water, then put Nagisa’s glass of orange juice on the small table in the middle of the room before sitting down in front of the couch.  
“So?” Rei asked. “Has the plane landed yet?”  
Nitori nodded, then looked down a little shyly. “I thought Rin-san would call when they landed but I haven’t heard anything.”  
And then Nagisa was back, roused from his daze by the opportunity to tease Nitori. He rolled off the couch and grabbed Nitori’s hands.  
“Oh, poor, love-sick Ai-chan! Your precious Shark-chan has been neglecting you hasn’t he? It’s all right though! I know just what you need, Ai-chan!” And then Nagisa pressed his lips against Nitori’s.  
Since Nitori had been about to protest, his mouth was open, and Nagisa took full advantage and slipped his tongue into Nitori’s mouth. It slipped over Nitori’s tongue, then traced along his teeth, and Nitori, too shocked by the sudden intrusion to do anything, just let him do what he wanted until Rei suddenly yanked Nagisa backwards, leaving Nitori red-faced and spluttering and on the verge of embarrassed tears. Nagisa just laughed over Rei’s angry lecturing and Nitori’s late squeaks of protest.  
“See? You’re not thinking about Rin-chan at all, right? Right?”  
Nitori flushed. “You’re a maniac, Nagisa-kun.”  
Nagisa just grinned, grabbed his glass of orange juice and downed it before turning back to Nitori. “Ne, Ai-chan, does Rin-chan know you call him ‘Rin-san’ when he’s not around? I bet it’d really piss him off. Ahh, it used to be so cute when he’d frown and tell you to ‘just call me Rin already’ and then, when you finally did, his ears would always get all red, and you’d be blushing. So cute.” Now, smiling deviously, he delivered his final blow.  
“Ai-chan, you taste like peppermint candy, so it’s no wonder Rin-chan is always all over you when he thinks no one is looking.”  
“W-well, you taste like a drunken asshole, Nagisa-kun.” A pretty weak retort, considering Nitori felt like his face had burst into flame.  
So, red-faced, he started to hit Nagisa with a cushion from off the couch to help make his point. He didn’t want to be reminded of when he and Rin had started dating. They’d both acted so embarrassing, like a couple of dorky shy assholes. Though they only clung together so much because their times together were always too short. Long-distance relationships were hard.  
He only stopped whacking him when Rei cleared his throat, and the two bickering boys on the floor both looked up at him. He looked like he wanted to beat both of them upside the head, with something a lot harder than a couch cushion.  
“I suggest that, since it’s so late – “  
“Early, actually, Rei-chan, it’s the morni-“  
“Early then. Either way, we should settle down. I suggest we watch a movie or something and get some sleep.”  
“Ahh, that’s a pretty good idea, Rei-kun. I can get blankets and we can sleep down here.” Nitori went quickly upstairs to grab blankets and pillows for the three of them, taking a minute to change into sweats before heading back downstairs.   
It sounded like they’d turned the TV on, and were listening to the news. When he got back into the living room, he paused nervously at the sight of his two friends. They were staring wide-eyed at the screen, not blinking. He turned his attention to the TV, feeling himself get panicky and not knowing why, until what the news lady was saying and the images finally clicked in his mind.   
A plane had crashed somewhere north of town. That was what the anchor was saying. The burning, hulking mass on the screen, then, must be the plane. And yes, the anchor was saying, it’s just been confirmed that this inferno was, in fact, Flight 114 from Sydney to Tokyo. And Nitori didn’t hear anything else, because someone was screaming.  
He was screaming.  
That was Rin’s flight. Rin’s plane. So, somewhere in that pyre was Rin, and Haru, Haru was on that flight too.  
And all he could do was watch them burn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here you are. The second installment that’s actually the first chapter. I hope my vapid attempts at humour were enough to distract you from the awful thing that happened there at the end.  
> Anyways, I do hope you enjoyed. I’ll throw out another thank you to the DANCE TEAM SUPER STAR (she knows) who keeps proofreading my work like a boss.  
> If you enjoyed it, would you consider leaving a review? Even a one word “nice” or a five word “I hate this so much” is better than total silence.


	3. Eyes Wide Open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter doubles the story's total word count :/  
> Again just... look away from that chapter title.   
> Also maybe avoid looking directly at anything that seems humorous. If it's funny, it was probably an accident.

Nitori was too busy trying to keep his anxiety from bubbling into panicky, outraged, doctor-throttling to notice how long he’d been sitting in the plastic abomination that was the waiting room chair of Iwatobi Municipal’s ICU. To be honest, it wasn’t until Nagisa had gotten up to ask an emerging nurse for news about Rin and Haru and had promptly thrown up on her shoes that he realized they’d been waiting so long Nagisa had gotten hung over.

Needless to say, the nurse hadn’t told them anything, but at least it gave Nitori a change of scenery… to the bland hospital bathroom, rubbing Nagisa’s back as he dry-heaved pitifully into the only toilet. As anxious and scared as he was over the plane crash, it was nice to be presented with a problem he could actually take care of. Although judging from Nagisa’s long string of curses and complaints he didn’t share the sentiment.

Nitori shifted into a kneeling position beside his friend so he could keep up his ministrations without twisting awkwardly, and rubbed tiredly at his face with his other hand. He’d checked the clock before hurrying into the bathroom after Nagisa, feeling his ears heating up and apologizing to the nurse at the same time. Right now, it was around 8. He tried to go over the events between seeing the news report and sitting in that horrid waiting room and wasn’t surprised to find that there were big, awkward blank spaces in those five hours.

He vaguely remembered screaming like a kid in the midst of a nightmare about particularly hungry-looking clowns, and Rei pushing him onto the couch and trying to get him to calm down. He definitely remembered Nagisa grabbing him, pulling him into a big hug, patting his back and shooshing him, which actually _did_ calm him down. At least enough that they could all watch the rest of the emergency broadcast, which had announced that survivors were being brought to Iwatobi Municipal Hospital since it was the only hospital in the vicinity of the crash that was equipped to handle this sort of large-scale incident. Nitori had practically rocketed out of Nagisa’s grip, babbling about getting to the hospital _right now, dammit_ , only to be promptly tossed back on the couch by Rei, who tried to explain, slowly and clearly, that they needed to calm down and think things through before dashing off and running around town in the middle of the night.

While Nagisa told Rei that it was stupid to be calm when your friends might be dying a horrible, flaming, plane-crash-y death, Nitori had clasped his hands together in his lap, taken a deep breath, and, following Rei’s advice for once, actually tried to calm himself down. It was obvious that screaming and running around and just generally freaking out wasn’t going to help anything. So he had forced himself to take deep, even breaths, feeling like he was preparing for a long race. When he felt like he was in control (except for his shaking hands, those still weren’t cooperating, even as he was sitting in the bathroom taking care of Nagisa) he’d clapped a hand over Nagisa’s mouth because he was babbling and it _really_ wasn’t helping. When Nagisa finally stopped trying to talk through the hand on his face, Nitori had pulled it away and stood up, still forcing himself to take those deep, even breaths. He’d pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes and held one last deep breath before letting it _whoosh_ out and clapping his hands together suddenly. It served to get Rei’s and Nagisa’s attention, and had helped Nitori focus on the small picture of getting to the hospital, since his mind kept wanting to wander back to the vision of hell he’d been treated to almost ten minutes ago.

The hospital was only a twenty-minute walk from Nitori’s house. Rei had pointed out some essential things they would need to bring with them, and Nagisa had vetoed all of the “unnecessary bullshit” except for cell phones and Nitori’s charger, deeming water bottles, a change of clothes, and _toiletries, really_? as superfluous. Nitori had to agree on that point; he wasn’t planning on packing luggage for the trip. So he’d headed back upstairs to grab his phone, his charger, and to change back into actual clothes. At the last second he’d grabbed his wallet from the corner of his desk – it wouldn’t be good to be stranded without cash, after all. He’d headed back downstairs in time to see Rei helping Nagisa put his shoes on. It should have been funny – Nitori supposed it would have been in any other circumstance – but instead it just seemed sad and frustrating. Rei clearly wasn’t in the mood to deal with Inebriated Nagisa anymore, if he’d ever been in the first place.

Finally, five minutes later, the trio had left the house, and arrived at the hospital at three-thirty.

It was an absolute nightmare. There were ambulances everywhere, from three different hospitals, sirens screaming and lights flashing manically. Mingling with the sirens were the sounds of crash victims screaming, or moaning, audible only until they’d been swallowed by the double doors leading to the emergency room and the ICU. Nitori had hoped to burst into the hospital immediately and start asking about Rin, but it was impossible to get near the hospital until an hour later, when the ambulances finally stopped moving. They had had to wait with a small throng of other people who were probably trying to get news of their own loved ones. That had been the most nerve-wracking part – everybody around them crying and shaking and begging to be let inside. It had been enough to start Nagisa crying, and Nitori had wanted to scream at those other people to shut up, whoever they were crying over, they weren’t as important as Rin, and besides, watching Nagisa cry was going to make him cry and that wasn’t okay because he was supposed to be _calm_ and he was supposed to be _composed_ and _how the hell was Rei handling all of this so well_. He had an arm around Nagisa, patting him on the head to help him calm down, and his other hand had found Nitori’s, holding it and squeezing it to try and give just a bit of comfort. Thank God it was working, because Nitori hadn’t noticed just how close he’d been to _actually_ screaming.

 _Finally_ a “representative of the hospital” had come outside and led them back through the doors and into the waiting room of the ICU. Where they had proceeded to wait. And watch nurses with clipboards approach every other little group except theirs. Until, finally one just happened to wander over and ask who they were looking for. There was something awful in the careless way she had asked, as if it wasn’t important, as if the three of them weren’t dying inside, as if they couldn’t matter because they were just kids – Nitori could have cheerfully beat her with her stupid plastic clipboard (although thinking back on it, that was probably just his anxiety making everything more horrible than it really was – that nurse wasn’t really disinterested, she was probably exhausted. He really hoped that nurse wasn’t the one Nagisa had just thrown up on).

After giving the nurse Rin and Haru’s full names, and a brief description they’d settled back into what Nitori had thought were some sort of avant garde sculptures but were apparently just waiting room chairs. And they had waited. Nagisa had stopped crying, although his eyes were still puffy and red, and he was still sniffling non-stop. Nitori remembered holding hands with him, off and on, for the unknown period of time between talking to the nurse and learning what was going on with their two friends. He had no idea what Rei had done for that whole time – he supposed it simply hadn’t registered. Like most of the waiting, it was a blank when he looked back on it.

Eventually the nurse had come back, looking grim, although that really could have just been how she had looked to Nitori. He was in a grim state of mind, after all, since he couldn’t help but conjure up pictures of all of the horrible deaths Rin might have suffered (he wished he could say he’d thought of Haru, even a little, but he hadn’t), which, by the time she had approached them, had merged in an amalgamated horror of flying limbs and burning hair and exploding organs that kept looping like a particularly awful GIF plastered to the inside of his eyelids. It just helped to ratchet up his anxiety now that he was, apparently, getting real answers.

Or not.

Rin wasn’t in Iwatobi. According to the nurse, Rin’s condition had been too critical to be dealt with here, and an emergency helicopter had spirited him away to Tokyo to receive “proper care.” So the nurse had no idea what Rin’s current condition was, or literally anything at all. She couldn't even really say what “critical condition” meant, because the doctor who had examined him was swamped with all of the _other_ people in “critical conditions.” Nitori had started to suspect that “critical condition” didn’t really mean anything at all, and the nurse just seriously didn’t have a clue. Again, a little ungrateful, but he really wasn’t in any rush to be grateful to the person who just seemed to be making the situation more awful.

Thankfully at this point Rei had spoken up about Haru, and Nitori was able to resist yet another urge to get hysterical at a nurse.

Haru was actually _in_ this hospital, so that at least brought some relief. According to the nurse he was having surgery in response to goddammit _critical injuries_. The nurse didn’t know what the injuries were.

It was, in short, a rather shoddy report, or, as Nagisa had exclaimed, exasperatedly, ‘it was total bullshit.’ Even more frustratingly, when they’d called the hospital Rin had been taken to, the lady who had answered the phone had patched them through to the emergency room where they got a heaping helpful of fuckall. Nobody had even picked up the ringing phone.

Nitori had nearly snapped his phone in half before Rei had suggested calling Makoto. Since he was still in Tokyo for end-of-semester exams, he could go to the hospital in person and find out about Rin. And although neither Makoto nor Sousuke, who was also in Tokyo for university, had picked up their phones, it was reassuring to know that they would be able to be there for Rin. They’d settled for leaving them both (admittedly ominous) messages to call one of their phones when they got them. It would just have to do.

And so they’d settled back for more waiting. He had thought knowing more would make the wait a little less unbearable, but it had the complete opposite effect. The nurse had thrown around so many vague terms and unknowns that he couldn’t even take solace in the fact that both of his friends had survived the crash. There were too many things that could happen – what if Haru died on the table, what if _Rin_ died on the table, _what if Rin’s helicopter crashed._ That last option was too horrible to even consider – he was a believer in reality’s love of cruel irony, and that scenario seemed to fit the bill just a little too well.

Really. He had to be glad that Nagisa was around if only because it was impossible for things to _not_ happen around him – it wasn’t giving Nitori too much time to freak out. This time the distraction came in the fourteen missed calls from Rei’s mom on Nagisa’s phone. Rei had literally smacked himself in the head, remembering that he had lost his phone and his mom was probably having a mental breakdown since he and Nagisa had been supposed to come straight home after last night’s party. He had sheepishly taken the phone and held it gingerly a few inches from his ear as his mother shouted (out of motherly love and worry) that she was going to (lovingly) strangle him when he got home for making her panic.

Rei had hung up after a few more minutes of angry coddling, and reluctantly stood to turn and face his two friends. Apparently it was absolutely imperative that he go home. Immediately. After making both Nagisa and Nitori promise to call him the second anything happened, he had pushed his glasses up with a frustrated huff and left with a small worried glance back at his friends.

And then there had been two, and they just went back to waiting, a little more at ease with the intrusion of something as normal as Rei’s crazy, overbearing mother. But still –waiting. And waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and just when it seemed something would change –

“Ai-chan.”

they waited some more, and even after that –

“ _Ai-chan.”_

they were still waiting, and maybe, in another minute they wouldn’t have to be –

“AI-CHAN!”

Nitori’s head snapped up so fast it rapped painfully against the wall behind him. He hissed at the sudden pain, and looked around, a little confused that he was sitting on the floor in a bathroom.

Nagisa was shaking his head, looking as reproachful as he could when his face was tinged an awkward green color. “You were really freaking me out, Ai-chan, staring at the floor all blank-eyed and not moving. I thought you were like, in shock or something, but it’s a little late for that, so I thought you were just thinking really hard about stuff, or praying or something, but you weren’t even blinking, like I said it was super freaky…” Only Nagisa could be this talkative and this hung over at the same time.

Nitori rubbed carefully at the lump growing on the back of his head and shrugged. “I think I fell asleep thinking about all the stuff we’ve done. I’m seriously exhausted.” He used his other hand to rub at his eyes, which felt all dry and gross. Had he seriously fallen asleep with his eyes open? That was just weird.

Nagisa took advantage of Nitori’s raised hands and slumped over so he was practically lying in his lap. Nitori wanted to push him off, but he really just looked so pathetic and worn out and miserable. He had probably been retching into that toilet the entire time he’d been asleep… How long had he been out, anyway? He felt dopey and slow, as if the nap he’d accidentally taken had just added to his exhaustion. Now Nagisa was sighing and rubbing his temples, so Nitori opted to gently run his fingers through his messy, blond hair instead of kicking him to the curb.

“Ai-chan?”

“Hm?”

“Everything’s going to be okay, isn’t it? They’re going to let us see Haru-chan soon, right? And he’ll be hurt, obviously, ‘cause he was in surgery… but he’ll still be okay. The first thing he’ll do is complain that the hospital doesn’t have a pool. And soon we’ll get a call from Mako-chan, and he’ll go check on Rin-chan and…”

Nitori snorted. “The first thing Rin will do is bitch about being in the hospital when he should be training. He’ll be all ‘ _This is fucked up, man, I’m going to be in the Olympics, I don’t have time for this shit.’”_ Nitori tried to imitate Rin’s patented growl and failed hilariously. It was so bad, it actually got the two boys to laugh, if with a lot less enthusiasm than the impression warranted.

Nagisa’s laugh trailed off awkwardly, and he suddenly caught Nitori’s eyes, a solemn look on his face. “I’m really scared, Ai-chan. What if _nothing’s_ okay?”

“Yeah… I don’t know. I’m really scared, too. But… I just want to believe that they’ll pull through, and… I don’t really want to think about losing anybody.” Nitori could feel his eyes getting watery. It would be shame to start crying now, since he’d held it together so long already. So he snuffled a few times, wiped his eyes, and pushed Nagisa back up. Then he stood, managing to keep his feet even though his legs were almost completely asleep. “We really need to get out of this bathroom, and find some coffee or something.” Yes. That sounded reasonable and in control. Score.

Nagisa looked quizzically up at him from the floor. “Y’know, you don’t have to be so calm if you’re worried.”

He scratched the back of his head awkwardly and sighed. “I know, I _should_ be freaking out. But that’s not going to help anything, or make all of this any easier. I just don’t want to make anything worse…” He shrugged. “I’ll freak out with relief when we hear everyone’s alright, huh? But… we won’t hear anything if we _stay in the bathroom_ , right?”

“Hmm, okay. You’re right.” Nagisa nodded and shuffled around on the floor. “Ai-chan?” Nitori looked down, and Nagisa was holding his hands up in the air and giving him a pleading look. He wiggled his fingers. “Help me up, please?”

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly and pulled Nagisa onto his feet. He took the opportunity to check out his friend’s condition: Blood-shot eyes, messy hair, and his face was pale-going-on-green. In short, he was a mess. “You should wash your face before we leave, Nagisa-kun.”

Nagisa gave him a look, then stuck out his tongue. “You too, Ai-chan, you’re all eye-boogery, s’gross.”

Nitori crossed his eyes and wrinkled his nose, and when Nagisa laughed he felt a little bit better.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

A few minutes later they finally emerged from the bathroom, only to be knocked aside by a guy who looked like he’d been worrying about his bladder bursting like an over-filled water balloon.

Nagisa turned and looked back at the bathroom door. “Man, how long were we _in_ there, anyway?”

Nitori pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I mean, not _that_ long. It’s only 8: 45.”

“I think forty-five minutes is a long-ass time to be in a bathroom, Ai-chan.”

“Okay, yeah, but still. You were the one throwing up on nurses.” He started toward the doors of the waiting room. “Where do you think we can fin- “

He was cut off by the sound of Nagisa screaming the word “Ringtone” over and over again. It was, against all odds, his ringtone, courtesy of Nagisa and not caring enough to figure out how to change it.

Nitori flipped his phone open to stop the unholy noise, and stopped in his tracks when he heard Sousuke.

“Nitori. What’s the emergency? Where are you? Rin get home okay? He miss his flight or something?”

He started, a little startled that he’d brought up Rin already. Then he bit his lip and huffed through his nose. Explaining was going to be really hard. He knew Sousuke wouldn’t take the news well at all. He opened his mouth to start only to be interrupted by Nagisa.

“Ai-chan, is it Mako-chan? Is he calling back? Tell him about the crash.”

Nitori pushed Nagisa, who had crowded against him, away. “It’s not Tachibana-san, it’s Yamaza-“

“Nitori, did he say crash? Hurry up and tell me what’s going on.” He could hear that Sousuke’s urgency had suddenly cranked up. So much for explaining things calmly.

“You should probably turn the news on, Yamazaki-san. But, well…” He walked Sousuke through the abridged version of the last six hours, telling him about the crash, the hospital, the report they’d gotten on Haru and Rin, and ended by telling him the name of the hospital Rin had been flown to. To his credit, he didn’t interrupt at all (and unexpectedly, neither did Nagisa), but Nitori could hear him moving through his apartment, turning on the news, and making small worried noises at the worst parts.

“Holy shit, Nitori. This is just… _shit_ this is bad.”

“Yeah, I know. Could you –“

Sousuke cut him off. “Yeah, yeah, I’m heading out right now. You guys called Makoto too, right? I’ll stop and get him on the way, so you don’t have to worry about it… Have you heard from Rin’s mom? Or his sister?”

Nitori slapped a hand to his forehead and groaned.

“What, what’s wrong?”

“I didn’t even think about them. They’re still in Australia. They went to watch Rin and Nanase-san and they stayed for an extra day of sightseeing. They probably don’t even know anything’s going on… I should call them, right?”

“Would you rather I did it? It won’t be an easy conversation.”

“Well, I can…” He paused. “Actually… yeah, if you don’t mind. I don’t think I could… hold it together if I had to tell them…” He felt a little cowardly, shoving the responsibility onto Sousuke like that, but… well he’d offered, right? Then again, he’d probably burst into tears the second one of them picked up, so he wouldn’t be able to speak anyways.

“Okay, yeah. I can do that. So, I’ll call them, get Makoto, go to the hospital… and I’ll call you as soon as we have news, alright?” Sousuke huffed suddenly into the phone. It was really the only sign that he was frustrated and panicky and anxious. “This really is just a fucking mess, isn’t it?”

“No kidding. Thank you, for taking care of all of that, Yamazaki-san. It’s a relief that you guys are there.”

“Glad I can at least take a bit of weight off your mind. I’ll let you know, alright? And Nitori?”

“Yeah?” He had been about to hang up, but he brought the phone back to his ear.

“Stay strong.” And then a _beep_ as Sousuke hung up.

Nitori flipped his phone shut and stood with his eyes closed. He could practically feel Nagisa at his side, impatient to know what was going on in Tokyo, but he was feeling shaky again and he needed a pause to calm himself down.

‘Stay strong, huh?’

He could do that.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sighs Forever
> 
> Anyways, I'm still getting the hang of AO3, so if there's formatting errors, feel free to beat me over the head with a thesaurus.


	4. 200 Meter Sprint

“Excuse me? You two are here for Haruka Nanase, right?”

For a second, the two boys sitting on the floor cradling cups of lukewarm coffee could only stare blankly up at the nurse who had spoken to them. They were exhausted, and clearly their brains were no longer up to processing spoken words.

Then the blond rocketed up from the floor and started babbling about “Haru-chan” and “surgery” and “what the hell did ‘critical injuries’ mean anyway?” He was practically shaking her.

“Nagisa-kun!” Nitori had finally snapped out of his stupor and was scrambling up from the floor, trying to get Nagisa to shut up and let go so the nurse could speak. Honestly, they’d managed to keep their cool and not start hunting down nurses like b-list slasher film villains for this long, and he thought now – when a nurse had actually come to give them news – was the time to start freaking out. Three minutes ago they’d been playing stupid word games to stay awake… Nitori wondered if Nagisa had a bottomless reservoir of energy he kept in reserve for times of excitement.

Once he’d managed to pull Nagisa back, and shushed him like a particularly irate nun, he turned to the nurse, who had borne the abuse with amazing patience and bemusement. Nitori was horrified to see that it was, in fact, the nurse whose shoes had suffered Nagisa’s wrath. At least it looked like she’d had a chance to change. He snuck a glance to his right and saw that Nagisa had realized it too, and was now sheepishly studying the linoleum.

Nitori cleared his throat awkwardly. “Yeah, we’ve been waiting to hear any news… Is he alright?”

The nurse smiled reassuringly. “Nanase-san is doing fine. He came out of surgery about an hour ago, but he’s been under observation to make sure there weren’t any complications after the fact, considering his…” she paused for a moment, looking at Nagisa, “considering the traumatic circumstances of his injuries.”

Nitori almost burst out laughing as he realized the nurse was avoiding using the word “critical.” Nagisa had clearly made his point about vague bullshit, not that “traumatic circumstances” was any better.

“So… so if he’s out of surgery and resting, can we go see him?” Nagisa was almost bouncing in place, anxious to see his friend’s condition for himself.

The nurse consulted her clipboard for a moment. “You will be able to see your friend. However…” She looked back up at the two boys, who had grown apprehensive again as she paused. “Nanase-san’s doctor wanted me to inform you of his injuries before you saw him. So you’d be prepared.”

Nitori could almost feel Nagisa’s anxiety ratchet up beside him. His own stomach had dropped at least a few inches. Needing to be prepared… He was suspecting that his and the nurse’s definition of “fine” was about a thousand kilometers apart. He knew that anything that required surgery would be serious but… but Nanase-san hadn’t been helicoptered to a better hospital, after all. If his injuries were so serious, how much worse was Rin?

The nurse was gesturing toward the unholy union of wood and plastic that was meant to be a bench, clearly wanting the two of them to sit. Anticipating the severity of what they were about to hear, they opted for a few minutes of lower back torture and sat, silently waiting for the nurse to start.

The nurse took a deep breath, consulted her clipboard one more time, and began to outline Haru’s injuries.

She started by saying that Haru had been relatively lucky. His burns were minor, and only on the left side of his body. He’d also escaped without any head injuries, which was what they’d spent that extra hour monitoring for. So far so not-exactly-devastating, at least in regards to what they’d been bracing themselves for ( _His face was completely burned off! We had to pull an armrest out of his chest! His organs have been liquefied – like soup!)._

But they were still unprepared for what she said next.

Haru had been rushed to the operating room for his left arm, which had suffered a major break and several deep cuts. He was losing too much blood too fast to try and fix the break and deal with the cuts, which went down to the bone and had torn through muscles and nerves, and so the surgeon had been forced to make a difficult decision – to try and save Haru’s arm, and maybe lose him completely, or to amputate and have a much higher chance of saving his life.

Of course he decided to amputate.

Nitori brought a hand up to cover his mouth. He was about to turn to Nagisa and see how we was taking it when the blond spoke up.

“Has he… has he woken up yet? Does he know…?” Nagisa’s voice, teary and wavery, trailed off before he could finish. He was clearly trying to hold himself together before a wave of emotion could drown him.

The nurse sighed, then nodded. “The surgeon went into his room right before I came out to find you. I can assume he went to try and break the news as gently as he could.” She took turns looking at the two boys on the bench in front of her, then smiled sadly. “I’m just glad the two of you stayed. So many people today… they don’t have anybody to come see them, nobody to help them through their pain. And after a tragedy like this, it’s just too sad that so many people have to be alone. At least your friend… At least he has you to help him with this.”

Nitori looked down at his feet and slowly brought his hand back down to his lap. Help? _Help?_ Were they supposed to tell him everything was going to be okay? Or maybe pull an arm out of their asses and duct tape him back together? Maybe Nagisa’s presence, at least, would be comforting. At least they were actually friends – Nitori hadn’t even seen Haru in six months, let alone spent enough time with him to consider himself anything other than his acquaintance, just a boyfriend of a friend.

And… and Nitori didn’t even want to be here, not really. He wanted to be with Rin, see Rin, comfort Rin. Haru would see that as soon as he walked into his room, and someone who clearly wasn’t thinking about you wasn’t exactly a comforting presence. Nitori was suddenly seriously considering sprinting out of the hospital.

“Can we go see him now, then?” Nagisa spoke up again, sounding desperate and worried; a _real_ friend, Nitori thought, and immediately regretted how selfish his thoughts had become. Here Haru had been in an airplane crash, and had his arm cut off, and he was worried about what? How awkward he was about to feel? That was just embarrassing.

So he shook his head, and took a deep breath to get his head back in order, and stood with Nagisa to follow the nurse through the double doors to the ICU. As he went, he steeled himself, and decided to focus his energy on what he could do here. As they reached the door to Haru’s room he took one more deep breath and pushed thoughts of Rin to the back of his mind – he could help take care of Haru, and he would think about Rin again when Sousuke called him back.

He’d be strong a little longer. There was nothing else he could do at this point. So he reached over and gave Nagisa’s hand a quick squeeze, then pushed open the door.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Haru’s room was dim, and quiet except for the steady beeping and whirring of machinery around the bed. Haru turned toward them as the door opened, but it was impossible to make out his expression. For a moment they both just stood in the doorway, staring, then suddenly Nagisa pushed past Nitori and rushed to the side of the bed.

He stopped short of jumping into his bed, and opted for grabbing Haru’s hand. That became immediately horrifying when he realized the hand he was reaching for wasn’t there. Mortified, he whimpered out a heart-breaking “Oh, Haru-chan!” Then the dam broke, and while his hands flapped desperately over his friend, huge, choked sobs shook his body.

Haru shifted uncomfortably, then grabbed one of Nagisa’s hands as it fluttered past his head. He held it gently while Nagisa wailed about Haru’s arm, and his burns, and how worried he’d been, and how he’d thrown up on a nurse.

Nitori sighed, still watching from by the door. So much for being “comforting and supportive.” Although Haru was bearing Nagisa’s outburst with an impressive amount of patience - he supposed Haru had a lot of practice. Or maybe he was still in shock. Or totally blitzed on pain meds. Whatever it was, he seemed to be dealing with the loss of his arm fairly well. Nitori was relieved; it would have been too alien, too surreal to walk in on Haru weeping and wailing like a normal person. It was better that he was as stoic and inscrutable as he’d ever been.

Nitori stepped a little further into the room as Nagisa’s sobs and wails cycled down into sniffles. His eyes wandered over Haru’s body, taking in the bandages covering his torso and shoulders, and the massive wad of bandages swaddling his left arm – or what was left of it. Like the nurse had said, Haru had probably gotten off remarkably lucky, but he still looked like a painfully battered chew toy. He finally stepped up to the bedside, next to Nagisa, and Haru’s eyes shifted over to him.

“H-hey, Nanase-san.” Nitori tried to smile reassuringly, but it felt more like a grimace on his face, so he dropped it. “How’re you doing?”

 _Oh wow, smooth Ai, how do you_ think _he’s doing?_ He mentally smacked himself a couple of times. He could have come out with literally anything else and it would have been a better choice than “how are you?” At least he’d managed not to drown him in tears. He glanced over at Nagisa, who was holding Haru’s hand like he had to convince himself that, yes, Haru _did_ have one hand left, and it wasn’t about to float off his wrist and out the window. His shoulders were shaking, and he looked like he was struggling to get himself back together, so Nitori gently patted his back to help him calm down.

Nitori turned back to Haru when he heard him swallow awkwardly.

“S’hard to talk.” He finally croaked. “Throat’s raw.”

Nagisa was wiping his face with his sleeve, but he dropped his arm when he heard Haru speak.

“Don’t talk if it hurts, Haru-chan! It’s… we’ll… it’s okay not to talk!”

Haru shook his head slightly. “S’fine, Nagisa. It sounds worse than it feels.” He looked between the two boys standing beside his bed. “I have a few things I need to ask, anyways.”

Nitori went and grabbed two of the chairs that lined the wall (thankfully, these seemed to be actual chairs and not some sort of M. C. Escher abominations) while Nagisa tried to convince Haru that no, seriously, he shouldn’t be talking.

Haru just shook his head again, and waited for them to get settled in the chairs. Then he shot a sly glance at Nagisa.

“Did you really throw up on a nurse?”

Nagisa spluttered for a moment, caught off guard. “ _That’s_ what you want to ask about? Out of everything? That’s not even important!” Nitori almost burst out laughing. It was unbelievable how easily Haru could handle Nagisa. He’d somehow managed to diffuse the tension that had been choking the room since Nagisa had burst into tears.

“Nagisa-kun was hung-over and anxious, so when he jumped out of his chair to ask a nurse about you, he ended up spewing all over her shoes. I think it’s the reason they took so long to let us come see you.” Nitori was surprised how easy it was to smile now. Although he had a feeling things were going to take a turn for the serious again soon.

He didn’t have long to wait. “How’s Rin doing?” He looked at Nitori. “If you’re in here… he must be doing alright. Or he’s asleep?”

Nitori looked down at his hands, clasped together tightly in his lap. So much for trying to put Rin out of his mind. He turned his eyes back up to Haru.

“We don’t actually know anything. About how he’s doing, or if he’s even okay… or… or anything.” He felt tears prickling the corners of his eyes and he angrily wiped his face. He was _keeping it together_ remember? No tears allowed. “A nurse did tell us that… that he was injured badly enough that they took him in a helicopter to a hospital in Tokyo. And Yamazaki-san and Tachibana-san are going there to be with him. They’re supposed to call when they learn anything, but we haven’t heard anything back from them yet. So.”

“Oh.” Haru leaned back into the pillows and stared up at the ceiling. He seemed suddenly far away. “We were… Rin was talking to a stewardess, about a pillow or something. Then everything was shaking, and she went flying up the aisle. The overheads opened and luggage was flying everywhere. We could tell the plane was dropping…” He trailed off, and they could just stare at him in horrified silence. Haru turned back to face them. “Do they know… what happened to the plane?”

Nagisa shook his head. “At least, we don’t know about it. The hospital turned off all of the TVs in the waiting room. I think they probably didn’t want the people waiting to have to watch footage of the crash over and over again.”

They sat quietly for a while after that, letting the silence spin out into the room as they thought about what had been said. For his part, Nitori couldn’t get the fact that they had known the plane was falling out of the sky out of his head. The dread, the anticipation of the crash – it must have been too awful to bear. He wanted to grill Haru on the details, whether they had been conscious when the plane hit, whether he had seen Rin get hurt… but that was too awful to ask.

Suddenly, Nagisa’s hand shot out and gripped Nitori’s arm. Startled out of his thoughts, he turned to ask what was wrong.

“Ai-chan, we forgot to call Rei-chan and tell him Haru-chan was awake.”

Nitori’s eyes widened. “You’re right! I completely forgot…”

“You should call Makoto too.” Haru’s eyes had opened when Nagisa had spoken up. Nitori had thought he’d fallen asleep, but he had probably been lying awake, thinking as hard as either of them.

He nodded. “Yeah. I’ll call him too. And, they might have news about Rin by now, and they just haven’t had a chance to call…”

So Nitori pulled his phone out and dialed Rei, who picked up almost immediately. Apparently he’d been waiting impatiently for them to call, despite his parents’ objections to how much he was fiddling with his phone the whole time. Nitori walked him through the past hour, deciding to leave out details about Nagisa’s unfortunate bathroom adventures. Of course, he was horrified about Haru’s amputation, and upset that there was no news about Rin. Then he asked to talk to Nagisa and make sure he was feeling alright, so Nitori handed over his phone and settled back into the chair, feeling drained after going over everything. And he’d have to do it again as soon as Rei was done taking Nagisa to task. Apparently he “just knew” that Nagisa had become hung over and felt that now was a good time to lecture him on the evils of drinking. Haru seemed amused at the one-sided melodrama developing in the corner of the room, so at least it was serving as a decent distraction. He actually smirked when Nagisa assured Rei that he was “a grown-ass man” and Rei was “just jealous because he couldn’t hold his liquor for shit.” Nitori was fairly certain Nagisa was just playing the obnoxious idiot card to take Rei’s mind off of the fact that he couldn’t be here with them. Most likely it was working – Nagisa was a master manipulator, at least when it came to Rei.

Finally, Nagisa ended the call with a cheeky “See ya later, Rei-chan!” and handed Nitori his phone. As he started to dial Makoto’s number, a nurse knocking on Haru’s door and poking his head in interrupted him.

“Sorry to bother you…” he paused to glance down at, surprise!, a clipboard, before continuing. “Emergency crews have started bringing in luggage and carry-on from the plane… Can you give us a description and we’ll make sure to get your things up here?”

Haru nodded and started describing his luggage as the nurse jotted down notes on his clipboard. When Haru was done, he double-checked what he’d written and started to leave, assuring him that he’d get his stuff back. Before he could leave, Nitori suddenly thought of something.

“Uh, wait, please?” he stammered out just before the door closed.

The nurse stuck his head back in.

“Um… our friend got taken to Tokyo… could we get his luggage up here, too?”

The nurse frowned and shook his head. “Unfortunately not. If he’s not in the hospital, his family will have to come and claim it. Sorry.” He shrugged apologetically and left.

Nagisa was pouting. “That’s just stupid. We’re his friends, we should be able to pick up Rin-chan’s stuff for him.”

Nitori just shrugged. “I was pretty sure he wouldn’t let us, anyways. It’s not like they’re going to throw it away, so it’s not a big deal. Don’t get all heated, Nagisa-kun.”

“Hmph. I’m a grown-ass man, remember? I get heated when I want.”

“Okay, okay, just chill.” Nitori was rolling his eyes, but he was happy Nagisa was back to being goofy. It was definitely better than weepy Nagisa, and about a million times better than scared and/or drunk Nagisa.

Haru cleared his throat. It sounded painful but it got their attention. “Can you call Makoto now?”

“Oh, right of course! I’ll –“

“RINGTOOOOOOONNNEEE!” Nagisa’s unholy shriek suddenly tore out of the phone in Nitori’s hands and he dropped it with a squeak.

“What in the holy hell is _that_?” Haru was wincing from the racket emanating from the floor.

While Nitori scrambled to pick up the phone and _dear lord make it stop_ , Nagisa was apologizing for turning the ringer volume up between uncontrollable gales of laughter. Finally he managed to snatch up the phone and pick up the call.

“Hey, Ai. Anything new on your end?”

“Ah! Yamazaki-san! We were just about to call, actually. Nanase-san is awake…” one more time he went through the last few hours, telling Sousuke about Haru’s injuries and how he seemed to be doing. “Actually, he wants to talk to Tachibana-san. Is he with you?”

“No… he’s up with Rin right now.”

“With Rin?! Is he awake? Is he –“

Sousuke interrupted him before he could ask a million questions. “Just hold on a second, okay Ai? Rin’s out of surgery, but he hasn’t woken up yet. They won’t let us use phones in the hospital, so I left Makoto up there with him so I could come call you.”

Nitori sighed, although he couldn’t tell if he was more worried or relieved by the news. “How bad is he? I mean, what did the doctors tell you?”

There was a whoosh of air in Nitori’s ear as Sousuke let out a deep breath, and he could feel Nagisa crowding up on him again, trying to listen in. He pulled the phone away from his ear and, with a quick glance at Haru, who was watching them intently from the bed, turned on the speaker function so they could all hear.

“Rin’s got some bad burns, mostly on the left side… He broke a wrist and an ankle, too. Mostly the doctors were worried about head injuries. They said it looked like a piece of luggage or something clocked him in the back of the head. There was a bad gash and a lot of bruising. He was in surgery for a while before they could get his vitals stable, and they had him in observation for a few hours, so they wouldn’t let us see him… We both decided we’d wait until we could actually see him before we called. That’s why it took so long.”

Nitori shook his head. “It’s fine that you waited. It’s better to have real news than just an update.” He bit his lip. “You’ll call when he wakes up, right?”

“Nah, Ai. I was gonna wait until they discharged him to give you another call. Honestly.” Sousuke was actually chuckling.

“Hey, Sou-chan!” Nagisa suddenly blurted into the phone.

“Nagisa? What? Am I on speaker phone?”

“Yeah, yeah, you are. Were you able to reach Rin-chan’s mom? And Gou-chan?”

Another sigh from Sousuke, the brief humour gone from his voice. “Yeah, I got a hold of them. They… didn’t take it well. I guess you figured that. They’re on a plane back now, which is… hell, a bit terrifying to think about. The plane lands in Tokyo, and they’re going to come straight here.”

“That’s good, though. Maybe they’ll be there when he wakes up.” Nitori was definitely starting to feel relieved.

“Yeah, although I’m hoping he wakes up sooner than that – Hold on.”

Nitori could hear someone shouting Sousuke’s name, muffled through the phone.

“Makoto?” Haru had somehow recognized the voice. “What’s happening?”

Nitori shook his head. “I can’t hear anymore. He covered the phone.”

Suddenly there was a beep, and Makoto’s voice came through the speaker.

“Haru! Are you all right? Your arm… You’re holding together okay, right?”

“I’m fine, it’s fine, what’s going on there? Why were you shouting?”

“Well it’s… Oh jeez…” Makoto trailed off, sounding worried and distracted. He took a deep breath and continued. “Alarms started going off in Rin’s room, and doctors rushed in and forced me to leave. They said not to worry, but… I mean…”

“What happened?!” Nitori demanded. “You said… Yamazaki-san said he was stable, and they’d been observing him for hours!”

“Look Ai,” Sousuke was back on the line, “We don’t know exactly what’s going on. We’re going to go find out, okay? So don’t worry, it’s probably nothing. He probably went into shock, and they need to stabilize him again. It’s nothing that’s not expected with something like this. So don’t worry. We’ll find out, and then we’ll call. I promise, okay? I’ll call you back.”

“Wait!” Nitori practically screamed into the phone, but Sousuke had already hung up. He looked up desperately at Haru and Nagisa, shocked and terrified.

Nagisa carefully pushed Nitori down into one of the chairs before he could collapse into it. He put both hands on Nitori’s shoulders.

“Ai-chan… You heard Sou-chan. He’s going to be fine. It’s normal for him to relapse a bit.”

“But, but, b-b-b-but…” Shit. He’d finally lost the battle with his composure. NItori suddenly broke down into a squall of tears and choked sobs. He couldn’t hold back anymore. It was like a dam had broken, the floodgates had opened, all those clichés about crying, here they were, live and in person and absolutely awful to look at. “W-w-what am I g-g-going to d-do if he, if he d-d-d – “

“He’s going to be fine, Nitori.” Haru didn’t let him finish the thought that was in all of their minds.

Nagisa was nodding his head frantically, rubbing small circles on Nitori’s back. “There’s no way anything’s going to happen to Rin-chan.”

Nitori was trying to bite back the sobs, upset that he’d broken down when he’d tried so hard all this time to keep it back. He jammed the heels of his hands into his eyes to try and force the tears to stop.

He managed to take a deep, shuddery breath, then another, and another, and it helped a bit. He’d let his mind take him down a dark road, to a place without Rin, and it had terrified him. But Haru and Nagisa were right. Rin was way too stubborn to die such a stupid death. And crying wasn’t going to fix anything.

Honestly nothing he did could fix anything. He was stuck here, waiting, and nothing he did was going to affect Rin either way. All he could do was wait.

It was all any of them could do now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of these chapters were edited by the same wonderful person, so anything good is her and anything garbage was me. Yay friendship!


End file.
